Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
