I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
