I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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