If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
why is half of my head shaved?
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