Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
