I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
