I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize