'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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