you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
