I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Shame - the story of my life.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
