Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
