her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
