question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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