Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
