just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
