mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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