one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
