I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
