dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I cannot find my penis.
We got so high we made milksteak
found the other keg... it's in the tree
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
