38 yer olds are good kisserssss
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
