I faked an abortion last night.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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