I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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