so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have aggressive nipples.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
