Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
