put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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