no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
