I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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