she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
