Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
