i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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