her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
