when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
