do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
worst night to have a conscience
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
