I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
