It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
