so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
COCAINE IS GR8
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize