Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
