So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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