I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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