puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
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the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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