Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
