the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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