sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
