Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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