that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
