we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
