how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
