allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
