you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
