im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
