just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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