Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
