So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
