how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
