did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
