Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
