omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
