everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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