Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
