O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
