omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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